It just eats...

I've got this large, old piece of corrugated plastic tucked to one side of my home office. It's a little buckled and dog-eared and the metalic, deep blue paint is scuffed. Across one segment is a hatched track, where some duct tape reacted with the paint. The paper lettering , spelling out the invitation "Let's Chat" is blistered from exposure to rain and the pointy corner of the speech bubble is dinged in from it's rough handling on route around the world from Canada to Malaysia.

And it just eats at me. I know what I feel compelled to do, to get out into the open spaces of this beautiful, diverse, busy-busy Kuala Lumpur and start inviting strangers to chat. And it just eats. I have sought refuge from the inevitable by being busy moving home, getting my girl into school, being under the yoke of rivulet inducing heat. It's eating me when I tell people about my past chatting glory, knowing that idle talk only brings temporary relief from the gnawing guilt of work wanting to be done and me just watching it.

I nearly started a few weeks ago; I had the shady but exposed spot planned in KLCC park (in the presence of the Petronas Twin Towers) and the timing set for the peak lunch time rush. I dusted of my speech bubble and got ready to make the repairs. My wife saw it and said "No f***ing way are you doing that here, or you can just get on the plane home". OUCH.

So I sat on it a while. By chance I meet a barrister and ask his opinion. I'm stalling of course. I've read about something in Malaysia called the Internal Security Act, and I am unsure if what I am planning is allowed by law - so I seek reassurance from his generous expertise. My hopes are raised when he sees no reason why not. But then I am deflated after he refers to a colleague who practiced as a government lawyer; he advises me against; I will probably be picked up by the CID and questioned. Of course, now I have to "think about it", from a "logistical standpoint", you understand. It's not that I'm scared of being detained; I have every confidence that my unpolitical, non-commercial, secular social experiment will get the big OK. It's just that I might end up being detained for hours that a responsible house-husband might not be able to afford. I'm still stalling, of course.

Before it consumes me I will be out there. My wife is travelling so I'll seize the moent this week - always ask forgiveness. I feel supported by her and I know it is my procrastination she really objects to. So tomorrow I buy some touch up paint, a shady umbrella and a stock of bottled water and off I go. My sign will be sated and I will start once again walking in my own shoes.

Question: who will hold me accountable for making this happen - I need an e-volunteer, please?

Question: what are you stalling on right now?